Thursday, March 29, 2012

I Heart Straws

Mrs. Brooch posted about her adorable heart straws and mocktails a few weeks ago, and it reminded me that I haven't shown you my take on the heart straw idea that's swiffering the nation blogosphere. I probably forgot to show you because I made these so long ago. This was my second wedding craft of ALL TIME (right after the Will You Be My Bridesmaid Cards), which means I whipped these bad boyz up way back in May of 2011 and they've been chillin' in a box ever since.

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Here they are!

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And here they are chillin'

You might recognize these from our engagement pics, when I emasculated Mr. Unicycle by making him drink out of one of these. 

Here's Mrs. Brooch's rendition. 

I originally got this idea from Mrs. Brooch way back in April (she posted about it a mere 9 days after I got engaged) and I added it to my ridonk list of wedding DIYs. And Brooch got the idea from The Knotty Bride:

The above photos use felt, which seemed a bit time consuming to me. I wanted to make 144 straws (they came in packs of 144 for some reason) and didn't think I'd have time to cut each heart out by hand--that would be 288 G. D. hearts, people! Plus, I was tasked with reviewing a Cricut machine at work, so I was looking for a wedding project using paper so I could kill two birds with one stone. 

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First I gathered my supplies: an enormous stack of yellow paper from Office Max (possibly Office Depot. I can't tell them apart), glue dots, the Cricut machine, and those ubiquitous stripey straws. Then I let the Cricut work its magic by cutting out all 288 hearts for me. Even this took a while, but all I did was sit there like the lazy person I am and watch it cut. Then I attached the hearts to the straws using the glue dots. This part took me maybe 15 minutes with the help of 2 bridesmaids. 

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I can't wait to sip a real cocktail from these!

What do you think? If you were a wedding guest, would you use one of these straws?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tonight We Are Young. So Let's Sway Together

Sorry for the absence, blogosphere! I'm sure you missed me dearly. I've been busy! For the past few weeks I've spent 50% of my time crossing things off my wedding to do list and 50% freaking out about my wedding to do list. Oh, and 50% working. That's right, I'm so nutz that I have 150% of a life.

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Don't worry, this isn't my "I've been driven to drink" face--I gave that up for Lent. No, this is my standard crazy-eyez face.

I've accumulated tons of stuff to blog about, but there's no time to blog!
Image via Awesomelols
My 2 fave things: Animals riding other animals, and squirrels!

But this post isn't about me begging for your forgiveness! It's about our Last Dance song (duh! Of course that's what I'm thinking about at T-87 days!). A song came on the radio the other day that I'm guessing you might have heard before. It's called "We Are Young" by Fun (a band that clearly didn't take search engines into consideration when they named themselves):

I immediately thought "this would be perfect for the last dance!" It's the kind of song where you get in a big circle, put your sweaty arms on each others' sweaty backs, and sway drunkenly like there's no tomorrow. And that's the kind of mood I want at the end of our reception. I want people to be drunkenly, sweatily living only for the moment, as if the group of people we've invited to our wedding are the only people who matter in the world. As if our wedding reception is the apogee of these people's friggin lives.

I sent the song to Mr. Unicycle to get his approval. He took his sweet time responding to me (possibly because he's in med school) and in the meantime, I fell in love with it after listening to it on repeat all day at work. (Side note: What's wrong with me that I can tolerate this?) Unfortunately, he DID. NOT. LIKE. He said, and I quote: "Did you pay any attention to the lyrics? It is kinda depressing, and is about people who seem to be in a terrible/abusive relationship whose friends are drug addicts."

Hmm, I admit I didn't pay any attention to the lyrics, other than

"So if by the time the bar closes
And you feel like falling down
I’ll carry you home
We are young
So let’s set the world on fire
We can burn brighter than the sun." 

That sounds appropriate enough! But I think he was referring to

"My friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State"


"...asking bout a scar, and
I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you’re trying to forget
But between the drinks and subtle things
The holes in my apologies..."

Suddenly I was incapable of finding a replacement song. This song had to be our last dance song. It's the only song I can imagine ending our wedding to. Depressing lyrics or no, this is the only song appropriate for sweaty, drunken, end-of-the-night swaying!

But, well, it's Mr. Unicycle's wedding too.
So here's where you come in--should I:
A) try to convince him to use this song
B) use a different song

Please suggest song alternatives and/or ways to convince him of this song's magical qualities in the comments! What song are you using for your last dance?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Sock Dance

I have a hilarious story to share with you guys about our garter toss. An anecdote, if you will. Bear with me; it's funny. Play this song while you read:
 Back when I was a freshman in college, before Mr. Unicycle and I were an item, we went to bingo on campus one Wednesday night (right after we finished our 4 pm dinner). It's what freshman did. For the first time in my life, I actually won a game of bingo. This probably sounds like a good thing to most of you, but I'm the kind of person who declines entering raffles in fear that my name will be picked in front of everyone. I was hesitant to yell "BINGO" in the middle of a quiet room, so all my friends yelled and jumped up and down like apes until they noticed me. Instead of just collecting my prize in a dignified manner, I instead had to spin a wheel in front of the whole room, which dictated which prize I won. I didn't win the iPod or the lava lamp or the Wii. No, I won a package of socks. Men's white socks.  The crowd laughed, and I went back to my seat clutching my prize.

Image via Old Navy

So now there was the problem of what to do with the socks. They were too big for me, and I only wear colored socks because they're easier to match with their partners in the laundry. Plus, white socks always turn gray, which is disgusting. I decided to pass them out to all my guy friends who lived on the floor above me. Everyone I offered socks to took a pair--except Mr. Unicycle. He was too proud for bingo socks??

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"You really think I need socks? Hah. Amiright ladeez?"

Once the socks were distributed, my roommates and I concocted this elaborate fantasy wherein each boy who had received a pair of socks from me would do an impromptu (yet perfectly choreographed) jazz dance across the newly opened bridge outside our dorm--wearing only the socks. They could choose to put the socks on any part of their body they wished, of course. I'd even allow them the courtesy of a 3rd sock if they needed it (I'm generous). The dance would be done to Feelin' Good by Michael Buble, the song I embedded above.
Image via Zazzle
Like this, except the tuxedo would be replaced with a sock.

The dance we came up with involved slow grapevines, low snapping, and a bit of rhythmic jazz hands. It was a very sensual, smarmy dance, only made better when you remembered that the dancers would all be college guys wearing 2-3 socks and nothing more. They might even be carrying canes. Possibly a top hat or two. Might as well dream big. The dance came to be known as The Sock Dance, and we talked about how epically hilarious it would have been all the time, to the point where I genuinely believed we could orchestrate this dance if only we had the right resources.

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Ooh maybe they'd all smoke cigars too! Sexxxy. And unhealthy! Don't try this at home!

Finally one day, my roommate and now MOH said to me, "Miss Unicycle, you know this will never actually happen, right?" What a buzzkill.

When it came time to pick a song for the garter toss, Mr. Unicycle said "How about the sock dance?!" I was like, "You idiot. That's a dance, not a song." But then I realized he meant Feelin' Good. Done, and done.

So as Mr. Unicycle lasciviously strips the garter from my thigh using his teeth, all the single, strapping young men at the wedding will be lining up, possibly doing an impromptu, yet perfectly choreographed dance. In nothing but socks.

I think my MOH might have to sit me down and burst my bubble again before the wedding.

Do you have any funny stories about songs you selected for your wedding? What song did you pick for your garter toss if you had/are having one?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Wedding Day Makeup: Fo' Realz

I posted a little bit about makeup ages ago, when this lil wedding of mine was but a twinkle in my eye. Now that I'm about 100 days out (seriously how and why did this happen??) I should probably figure this shiz out. Fo' realz. I hired a stylist to come to the hotel the morning of the wedding to do my mom's and my hair and makeup, so thankfully I won't have to do any of this myself. (I don't really "get" makeup.) And I'll be getting a makeup trial in a few months too. So I should really be prepared with some inspiration pics!

To recap, here's what I showed you before:

Image via Glamour / barrettes from

Image from Keiko Lynn

Since I decided my wedding would have a slight retro theme (thanks to the look of my dress and necklace), I've collected a few more inspiration pics that fit with that overall aesthetic. Ladies and gentlemen--I think this calls for red lipstick.

Surprisingly, this isn't the same person as the previous photo. Don't they look like twins?

But what really stopped me in my tracks was Adele at the Grammys a few weeks ago. How is she so HOT??

Image via Glamour

Image via Varnished

And her supreme hawtness extends beyond the Grammys. She's always pretty.

Image via Popdust

Image via Glamour UK

Image via Hair Romance

Image via Rolling Stone

I think I just like her look because it's a little bit retro, it involves my favorite thing in the world--enormous hair--and she has a round face like me, which is pretty rare among celebrities. So looking like her is a lot more attainable for me than looking like, say, Keira Knightley (Mr. Unicycle's celebrity crush, grrr!). 

But back to wedding talk. I think the pictures I'm going to bring to my makeup trial will be Adele from the Grammys, Dita Von Teese, and her bride twin (above). All 3 of them had the makeup components I'm going for:
  • pale skin
  • red lips
  • enormous fake lashes
Do you find yourself inspired by a particular celebrity when it comes to wedding hair and makeup? Who's your celeb girl crush?

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Make New Friends + Milwaukee Meet-up

As the old Girl Scout song goes, the secret to happiness is to make new friends while keeping the old. I showed you some old friends who will be standing up to my wedding as bridesmaids, and I've got other friends coming to the wedding as well, so I'm set on keeping the old. But how do you make new friends when you're someone's wife?
Image via someecards

It seems like married people have to only be friends with other married people. Why is that? I suppose single people don't want to listen to me drone on and on about our wedding registry or how Mr. Unicycle left the toilet seat up again (side note: I don't really find this behavior that annoying, but I pretend to be annoyed when my brother does it because people on TV are annoyed by it. What's annoying about leaving the toilet seat up? I want to be properly prepared to be adequately annoyed at Mr. Unicycle when we live together, so fill me in). And I also suppose single people don't want to share their dating triumphs and travails with an old married lady like I will soon be.

Image via

Plus, when you're an old married lady, you can't make friends in school (unless you're a married student), and without school, extracurricular activities disappear too. And people probably don't want to spend too much extra time with people they work with, because then you feel like you're at work even longer. I won't be living with my friends or seeing Mr. Unicycle's friends as regularly when it's just the two of us living on our own. When I move to Milwaukee, it'll basically be a blank slate for me. I have a few friends up there from undergrad, and I've made friends with some of Mr. Unicycle's med school friends, but how do I meet my own friends?

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Don't you want to be my friend? :(

I don't really have a solution to this question, so maybe you ladies will enlighten me in the comments. And here's a sneaky segue-way: I'm organizing a Milwaukee meet-up for April 21 and YOU are invited! Maybe we'll make lifelong friendships at this meet-up and none of us will ever have to worry about that Girl Scout song again! You'll never know if you don't show up! We're getting brunch at Beans and Barley at noon that Saturday, so be there if you want to meet the fabulous Miss Unicycle! (I'm really very fabulous. You won't want to miss this.) And you can follow along with our discussion on the Wisconsin board!

Image via Beans and Barley

How do you make new friends as an adult? Do you find it hard to make friends or maintain friendships with unmarried people?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

4 Yellow Dresses

I got a little ahead of myself posting about bridesmaid dress shopping without explaining my bridesmaid dress philosophy. I mean, my Bridesmaid Dress Philosophy. (Who the hell has a philosophy about bridesmaid dresses?) My philosophy was simple: I wouldn't force my friends to buy ridiculously expensive, boring dresses from chain bridal stores. I didn't want them spending an arm and a leg on a dress of my choosing because it felt wrong and bridezilla-ish. Plus, pretty much every dress being sold as a bridesmaid dress bored me to tears (just like wedding dresses did).

Image via Dessy
Not good

Image via Dessy

Image via Alfred Angelo

Image via David's Bridal

I decided to set out to find the most fantabulous yellow dress of all time, for under $60, and all my bridemaids would wear it and look amazing. My first problem was not being able to find anything fantabulous. My second problem was not being able to find anything under $60. I was lucky to find anything under $100. My third problem was not being able to find anything in the right shade of yellow. Everything was either pastel yellow, goldenrod, or just not yellow at all. I wish I had chosen blue or red instead, because there are a ton of dresses in those colors.

In case you're wondering, this is my idea of fantabulous. But it's the wrong shade of yellow, and definitely the wrong price, at $520. 

So then I spent an embarrassing amount of time scouring the internet for yellow dresses. I tried pinterest, google shopping, google images, regular google, Weddingbee, Etsy, and every online retailer I could think of. I also searched the racks at local formal wear stores and department stores. I finally decided to just show my BMs what I'd found and let them either choose a dress from my searches or find one themselves. I was so sick of looking for yellow dresses (it had been about 5 months at this point) that I couldn't stand to think about it any longer. So yes, I became an even bigger bridezilla by forcing them to do all the work. And yes, I accidentally became one of those brides with a mismatched wedding party. As of last week, all 4 girls have purchased a dress! And here they are all in a row:

Image sources, from left to right: Shabby Apple, David's Bridal, ASOS, eShakti 
Except the DB one might not be right because I don't remember hers being shiny or having a bubble hem.

And the lovely ladies who will wear these dresses, respectively:

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The first and fourth dresses are from my internet scouring, the second was from our trip to David's Bridal, and the third is from BM Artist's internet scouring. (She's the only BM to have a cool, Weddingbee-ified nickname, because I mentioned her previously for being the mastermind behind our Save the Date designs. I'll work on the others.)

What do you think of the dresses we chose? Are you a fan of the mismatched bridal party? And most importantly, what are your sources for non-bridesmaidy bridesmaid dresses?

Sunday, March 4, 2012

We're Even Eating Polka Dots

And the cake saga continues. When we last left off, the Unicycles had angrily feasted on cake at a local Starbucks while arguing about the difference between "combination" cake and marble. We decided to get white cake with raspberry bavarian filling and buttercream frosting. But I never discussed the most important part--how the cake would look.

I mentioned before that I was inspired by Mrs. Star's polka dot accented wedding years before Mr. Unicycle ever put a ring on it. I credit Mrs. Star with my wedding's polka dot theme, especially my cake design. The photos we're sending to the bakery are the same ones she shared on the blog almost 3 years ago, which I've had saved to my hard drive the whole time (this was pre-pinterest, people). I'm glad my taste in cake design hasn't changed in the past few years! Here are the 2 cakes Mrs. Star posted about:

I did a little more research to make sure this is what I wanted. At first I thought I might want one of those trendy ruffly cakes going around the internet instead:

Image via Snippet and Ink / Photo by Adrienne Page

But Mr. Unicycle wasn't a fan of the ruffles. (I don't know why I always think he'll be a fan of shiz like this.) Plus I was afraid it would end up looking like this, which seems to be our bakery's take on ruffles:

I also saved these cake pictures because I thought they were cool and modern looking:

Maybe I just like everything Martha does. Except her tutorial writing of course. Mr Unicycle happened to like the polka dot cakes best, and they did go with our "theme," unlike the others. I briefly searched for more polka dot cakes and came across these:

Image via Sarah the Bear

Image via Polka Dot Bride / Cake and photo by Faye Cahill Cake Design

We liked the idea of going with traditional polka dots (again, like those featured in the original pics), so these were nixed as well. When I found this photo, I knew a gray and white polka dot cake would be perfect for us:

Image via Love the Day / Cake by One Sweet Slice

One thing we noticed about all of the cakes we liked was the shape. We really liked the cylindrical tiered look with flat tops (not curved like the original pictures). So we're going to ask for 3-4 gray and white polka dot tiers with flat tops. We'll also have the bakery tie yellow bows around each tier. And the cake toppers? Well, you'll just have to stay tuned...

Do you think we should do each tier the same, or should we come up with different designs for each? If so, what are your suggestions? And what is your dream wedding cake design?

Thursday, March 1, 2012

How to Get Married in the Catholic Church: Part 2

Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of people marrying into the Catholic Church like pre-cana. Mr. Unicycle is Lutheran, as I mentioned in my last Catholic Church post, so he was absolutely dreading going to pre-cana. I'm pretty sure he thought a priest would lecture us about "pulling out" for 8 hours while we all held our hands over the bible and vowed never to use birth control, eat meat on Fridays, or have fun again. In reality, it was a lot more enjoyable than that.

For starters, it wasn't run by a priest, probably because priests don't know much about marriage. The full-day retreat, which was held at a church about an hour from my house, was run by couple who has been married for a really long time.

There were about 70 couples there, and we all sat at round tables with our SOs while the couple leading the program stood at the front. We were given a bunch of stuff, including a booklet, which we worked through throughout the day, and a perpetual calendar full of inspirational marriage notes and tips:

Only if I can wear my culottes.

One of our quotes!

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Pre-cana swag bag! We also got free pens but I lost mine.

We started the day with an awkward ice breaker game, which was to be expected. Can I just say right now that ice breaker games and the people who perpetuate them need to be taken down? NO ONE likes them. Why are people allowed to get away with this atrocity? It benefits no one. Our game wasn't too bad though. We all wrote our names on name tags, which the couple distributed around the room, and we had to find the person who's name we had by yelling their name across the room. Weird story: one of the couples sitting at our table had the exact same names as me and Mr. Unicycle! His name is very common but mine isn't, so it was really strange.

After that, we had to stand up one by one and introduce our fiance to the room, including one fun fact about them. It is much easier coming up with a fun fact about someone other than yourself! It was cool seeing what everyone said too, since couples didn't converse with each other first. Mr. Unicycle's fun fact about me was that I like studying linguistics, and my fun fact about him happened to be that he does really good impressions of foreign accents, which clearly interests me because I like linguistics. A few of the other couples had "matching" fun facts too, which I thought was cute.

For the rest of the day, the couple running the event went through different topics in our workbooks:

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Glamour shot with the workbook

They'd lecture for a bit, let us discuss with each other and our tablemates, brainstorm as a group, and write in our workbooks silently by ourselves. No one had to talk in front of the group if they didn't want to (except for introducing ourselves at the beginning), so it was more like being in a college class again. Some people contributed a lot, and others just observed (that would be me). The topics covered included money, SEX, communication skillz, and the foundation to a good relationship. We did a lot of reflection about ourselves, each other, and our relationship. It was actually kind of fun! It reminded me of when I used to take all of those quizzes in Seventeen magazine. The couple didn't preach to us about SEX or birth control or living together at all. Although they did get oddly preachy about money. Apparently you have to save 10% of your income, starting yesterday. YOU HAVE TO.

Right before lunch, they separated the men and women and we wrote each other letters. Then they let us go to lunch on our own and read the letters and discuss them together. The letter writing activity was nice, and I know a lot of other bees have enjoyed it too. It wasn't that profound for us because we write letters to each other fairly often already, (What can I say, I like to write. Plus we're in an SDR!) but it was still nice, and we'll be able to save these letters forever. Even if they do say "from one lover to another" at the top.

Personal pic with cool blurring so you can't read intimate details about the Unicycles!

I thought the SEX part would be awkward, but the couple did a pretty good job of keeping it PG. They talked about how foreplay should last 24/7, meaning their idea of foreplay is smiling at each other from across the room, meaning it wasn't awkward. They did make us discuss some SEX stuff with our SOs, but other than that, it was short and sweet. They didn't even explain the rhythm method. That's what wiki's for I suppose.

At the end, we all collected our "proof of purchase," which we need in order to get married in the church. I tried to get a pic of us holding it, ya know, for the blog, but it didn't turn out so good.

Personal pic

But I swear we got one! See?

Personal pic

I feel a little more prepared for marriage now that we've done pre-cana, and the experience made me feel even closer to Mr. Unicycle. He definitely liked it a lot more than he thought he would too. Even if you're not required to do pre-cana before your wedding, I would highly recommend some sort of pre-marital counseling to every couple.

What are your thoughts on pre-cana? Did you enjoy it? Do you think it's unnecessary?