What to Do After the Wedding's Over

I quit my job a few days before the wedding and my new gig doesn't start for a few more days. I've basically been a childless stay at home mom for the past few days, and I don't really know what to do with myself. Without a high powered desk job and a wedding to plan, I am nothing but a child playing house and Amelia Bedelia-ing said house. Let me explain my history as Amelia Bedelia.

 

Image via Wikipedia

I lived with Mr. Unicycle for about 5 days in college because my 2 leases didn't line up back to back. During that time, I managed to completely destroy his entire apartment and apartment building (note: this blog post contains hyperbole). What started as spilling a few drops of coffee onto his bedspread culminated in a waterlogged living room, flooded bathroom, a suspicious trail of water leading to the basement laundry facilities, and about $10 wasted in coin-operated laundry machines. It was basically exactly like The Cat in the Hat. All Mr. Unicycle said when he got home was "why is my bedspread damp?"

So when it comes to household chores, I'm Amelia Bedelia. Or an anthropomorphic cat.

 

Image via Wikipedia

For your benefit, I chose the cartoon pic, not the Mike Myers horror film pic.

And yet, I'm the one in charge of organizing our wedding gifts and figuring out how to work the new appliances. You can see where this story is going--never let a child operate a brand new espresso maker unsupervised, even if the child has read the directions several times, and even if the child holds a college degree. Yes, steamed milk is currently...everywhere. And I'm blogging about it instead of cleaning.

Now that the world's longest intro is over, we can get to the real meat and potatoes of the post: what can I do with myself now that my wedding's over? I thrive on to do lists and can't comprehend that my wedding tasks are over, so I made another list. Here's the list I came up with. But keep in mind that, as I already pointed out, I'm choosing to blog about the list instead of actually accomplishing anything on it:

The List:

1. Change my last name. I never blogged about my reasoning behind this because it was a boring reason. I'm married, so my last name is changing. I'm too lazy to consider alternatives. I found a good resource on The Knot about how to do so.
2. Get new car insurance, a new drivers license, and new license plates. This is mostly because the Unicycles have never shacked up before (except those 5 fateful, apartment ruining days) and my car now lives in a new state. All 3 of these tasks are too boring to even think about.
3. Thank you notes! I already ordered the photo we're using in our thank you post cards, and until they arrive, I really can't get started on this yet.
   
   
   
   Image via Jennifer Shaffer Photography
   We wanted to match the save the dates!
   
   
4. Hit the bank. We need to merge our accounts and deposit the zillions of dollars in wedding gifts we got. Unfortunately, it's proving quite difficult to get to a bank that's actually open once Mr. Unicycle gets off work, let alone figuring out how to deposit a check with my future last name on it. Next time I give a check as a wedding gift I'm only writing the groom's name on it!
5. Sell wedding stuff. Anyone want my centerpiece "vases?" I've got 19 for $4 a pop. I'll put up a listing in Classifieds eventually but again, I'm too lazy to actually do anything right now.
   
   
    
   Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography (cropped by me)
   
   
6. Add my name to the utility bills, change my address for all of my own bills, and add myself to Mr. Unicycle's cell phone plan (I'm getting my first smart phone ever!).
7. Choose photos for our wedding albums and order prints. I want to put some albums together for our parents in time for Christmas, plus we're getting a FREE album from our photographer (remember that anecdote?), PLUS we owe our parents some wedding photos. I also need to get organized to begin recaps for you guys.
8. Review our wedding vendors. I want to do so out of the goodness of my heart, both to benefit the vendors we loved and future brides. However, there's the added incentive of a free Shutterfly photobook from The Knot if we review 5 there. I'm not even sure we had 5 vendors though.
9. Get my dress dry cleaned. I'm not sure what I'm doing with my dress. I always said I'd try to sell it, but now I'm attached to it. Plus, it was custom made and altered to fit me, so I don't even know what size to call it. Snooki sized, most likely.
   
   
   Photo by Jennifer Shaffer Photography
   I mean seriously, good thing I wore 5 inch heels.
   
   
   What else needs to get done after the wedding? I'm off to damage my apartment in a coffee related incident. Somebody stop me!

We're a Bicycle

I just can't help myself with these wheel puns. I was very open from day one about my affinity for dad jokes, so you can't say you haven't been warned. When hive member priyathescientist commented on my last post asking if we were now a bicycle, I died laughing and went to a heaven filled with bears on unicycles, fat men slipping on banana peels, and other amusing things.

All photos by Jennifer Shaffer Photography

Our speech bubbles are facing the wrong way. We fail, again.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand: two wheels indeed became one. Or we became a bicycle, or whatever. The Unicycles are married! And it was, to put it eloquently yet concisely, friggin' awesome. Our amazing, wonderful, too-good-to-be-true photographer got our pics back to us before I had even wrapped my mind around the wedding being over. We returned from our honeymoon, celebrated our nation's freedom a bit, moved into our new pad in Milwaukee, and all of a sudden our wedding pics are here! We don't even have internet service yet :(



Remember how I couldn't sleep the night before the wedding because I was overtaken with fear at the thought of walking down the aisle while everyone looked at me? It lasted well into the ceremony:

As soon as I got into the vestibule and saw how many guests there were I was like "oh SHIT." Except it was church, so I really went "oh DANG."

Then I freaked out a little bit, but my dad made some dad jokes for me so I'd stop dry heaving.

I got through the ceremony okay, and I got the dramatic kiss photo I wanted!

Pretty much all of my wedding day predictions came true. Except the candy buffet backdrop didn't fall over, to my knowledge, but it did look pretty bangin'.

My bridesmaids also looked pretty bangin' in matching shades that I bought at the last minute, two days before the wedding.

The day was full of so much laughter, so many smiles, and so many amazing, warm/fuzzy feelings. I wish I could get married to Mr. Unicycle every day.

I think it's safe to say that a good time was had by all, as they say.

Yes, our last dance was everything I dreamed it would be, and then some. Drunken swaying, sweaty dancing, cheering--the works.

I spent the day kissing this hottie, and now I even get to live with him. Being married rocks.

 a couple of BAMFs

Hopefully I'll be back with regular recaps soon. I don't have a question to ask at the end of the post...er, how are things with you?