Thursday, January 31, 2013

Friggin' Vellum

I found this video today and had to share it with the people who I knew would appreciate it best: you guys. First watch, then discuss.

Found via A Cup of Jo

I definitely had feelings of inadequacy when I received my first envelope-within-an-envelope invitation. I had never heard of inner and outer envelopes until then and thought it was just some sort of extra fancy wealth flaunting vessel. If you're naive like me, read this informative Yahoo Answers post (oxymoron?) about what inner envelopes are for.

Personal pic

My own invitation suite was definitely more playful than fancy, which is the look I was going for, but I still feel a little "f*** me" every time I see an invitation with calligraphy, letterpress, or, dear God, vellum. So I can kind of feel this couple's pain.

On the other hand, I tied 150 knots in order to make our invitations. I made homemade napkin rings. I did all kinds of over the top, pointless crap all in the name of making my wedding oh so special. So maybe my wedding made people go "holy f***ing balls, what is this, a candy buffet? Shit." I kind of hope my wedding inspired obscenities from our guests, because I am serious about weddings. If you could see my face right now, you would not see me laughing. F***.

Also, we had an open bar, so I guess we're pwning this game.

Has someone else's wedding ever made you feel f***ing inadequate? Did you use vellum in your invitations?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Two Wheels Become One: My Only Drink

I only had one actual drink on my wedding day. Well, in addition to the sips of champange I had in the limo and during the toasts. But the only real drink I guzzled from start to finish was one of our signature cocktails at the cocktail hour. Martha Stewart calls it a Starlight Royale; we called it a Blushing Bride.
Here's photographic proof that I drank one.

My SIL drank...more than one. I'm guessing. We still have dozens of those heart straws leftover, and sometimes I use one in a glass of water, just for kicks.

But let's back up. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, it was already in full swing. Our guests had been mingling and downing drinks as fast as they could while we were PDA-ing on the green.

After we golf carted our way back to the cocktail hour area, I expected to just sidle in unnoticed and loiter in the corner downing mini meatballs on toothpicks like I always do at weddings. However, that wasn't possible because we didn't serve any mini meatballs. And also we were the bride and groom. When we arrived at the cocktail hour, our guests took notice and actually broke into applause. I didn't know what to do because I hadn't planned on a grand entrance, so I stood there awkwardly and...well, hive...I took a bow. I did so ironically in a "come on, guys, you're making me blush!" sort of way. But that doesn't excuse the fact that I took a friggin bow while people clapped for me at a cocktail hour.

After that I needed a drink. Actually, I was feeling a little dehydrated and, being the smart person I am, I decided an alcoholic beverage was the best remedy. I hinted to a few people that I wanted a drink, but they were all like "oh sure, go get a drink! I won't keep you!" And I was like seriously? How come hot chicks in movies get drinks practically thrown at them, but I, as a bride, couldn't get a drink brought to me from an open bar? Side note: Hi, I'm an asshole. Have we met before?

I finally just told someone to get me a drink, and they obliged. I spent the rest of cocktail hour saying hello to guests, posing for photos, and guzzling my lone drink.

My friends from college also enjoyed the pink dranks.

A few families took posed photos outside, which looked great with all the flowers. (Where are you now, flowers? I hate to sound like a hippie, but where have all the flowers gone??)

My dad was gearing up for his big speech, but he clearly wasn't feeling nervous.

For some reason, all of the boutonnieres had one limp petal by this point in the day. Make of that what you will, and feel free to add a raunchy joke about it in the comments.

Our second shooter basically just followed me around and took photos that I requested. It was like having really nice, courteous paparazzi who I could order around. So basically not paparazzi at all. Here we are with some college friends and Mr. U's ex-roommates. I like this picture because it makes me look like the female equivalent of a ladies' man. A man's lady?

We went butt-to-butt at the bachelorette party, so of course we did it at the wedding (spoiler alert: twice!)

My grandparents, aunt, and uncle who all traveled across state lines for our lil shindig.

This almost looks like they're coming down the aisle. But no, they're already married. I guess they don't call this place "Bridges of Poplar Creek" for nothing.

And I'm guessing you can tell who's side of the family these folks are from. I'll give you a hint: mine.

Before I knew it, cocktail hour was over and I hadn't even tried any hors d'ouevres! Our guests slowly shuffled inside and found their seats. Meanwhile, the wedding party all gathered in a super secret "bridal room" to prepare our grand entrances. 

Did you get to attend your cocktail hour? Did you have more than one drink? Have you ever tried to cure dehydration with alcohol? Why? Are you stupid?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Two Wheels Become One: PDA on the Green

This is the post where I assail you with photos of the Unicycles gazing lovingly into each others' eyes. If you're thirsty for more, see our Milwaukee engagement session. (I'm assuming you'll click this because you're one of those people who stares at couples who kiss in public. I know your type.)

After we took our final wedding party photos, we released them to the cocktail hour to get their signature cocktail on. They basically ran toward the flowing booze like moths to a bug zapper. Our photographer had other plans for me and Mr. U though. We decided to take a golf cart out onto the green (that's what golf courses are called, right?) and take advantage of some of the beautiful scenery for our couples portraits.

I really wish we had some affiliation with golfing so this photo would be more poignant.

We found this cool bridge with weeping willows around it and took a bunch of shots through the branches.

Mr. Unicycle alternated between whispering "poop" to make me laugh, and whispering actual sweet nothings.

I forgot how romantic and warm/fuzzy the engagement session was. The shots we took on the golf course were the same way. At first I thought the photos were just something to get through so we'd have nice, frame-able memories of the wedding. But taking the photos was actually really enjoyable too. While we were out on the golf course, miles (okay not miles) away from our guests, I didn't even think about getting back to the cocktail hour. The only people who existed in the world were me and Mr. Unicycle. And our two photographers. And two videographers. And that stray golfer who didn't get the memo that the course was closed.

This is one of my favorites. I look, in a word, GOOD.

No wait, this is one of my favorites. Seriously, hire my photographer for your wedding. If I were the type of person who hung enormous self portraits above my fireplace (and if I owned a fireplace) I'd blow this bad boy up and slap it on the wall.

I remember the photographer told us to look at each other while walking toward her, and I was just overtaken with how happy I was at that moment. I had a few "lucid" moments during the wedding day where I was like "wow, this is really happening. This is my actual wedding day. I'm actually married." And this was one of them. I may not have gotten that feeling walking down the aisle, but I got it walking down the bridge!

Gratuitous kissing shot. Heterophobes, cover your eyes!

Every time we're around water Mr. Unicycle says "Oh look, a fish!" and I say "Where?" and he points, and I see nothing. Pretty sure that is happening in this photo too.

I wish we could admire nature while looking phresh to death every day.

Next we left the bridge and took some general grassy shots.
When I'm mad at Mr. Unicycle I can look at this picture and melt inside and then I'm not mad at him anymore. That's why I never look at it when I'm mad, because sometimes he deserves to suffer my wrath, you know?

It kind of looks like Mr. U has a walrus mustache here. My hair needs to be put on a leash, like yesterday.

I love the pictures where my veil looks like a poof ball. Also POCKETS!

What. A. Hottie. Amirightladeez???

These photos were actually taken earlier in the day, when the wedding party was still with us and the cocktail hour hadn't started yet. But I figured I'd sneak them in here.

And here's that amazing hill again.

Oh hey, how's the weather up there?

These next few photos remind me of Mrs. Ostrich's photographer's style. So artsy! Fun fact: The Unicycles took a class together in college on Miksang Photography, and this style totally reminds me of the "dot in space" concept.

And I just had to throw this one in too because I'll never look this friggin regal again.

See? Back to not being regal. Also note the look of confusion on Mr. Unicycle's face. He did not get it when I said to make a badass face. He looks like he feels bad about the gesture he's making. 

That's better:

Were you surprised at how romantic your engagement session or couple portraits were?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Two Wheels Become One: No Golf Ballz for You

After we gallivanted around town, the wedding party hopped back into the limos and we headed to the reception venue. We had a few things on our agenda before the actual reception started:
  1. Check out the reception setup before the guests started going in
  2. Get more wedding party photos on the golf course
  3. Enjoy the cocktail hour
  4. Get couples photos on the golf course

We actually did the tasks in that order, but I'm going to blog out of order, if you don't mind. So first up, let's take a look at the wonderful wedding party photos! We didn't get many at the reception venue because A) we had already taken a bunch at the alternate location and B) we weren't allowed to go on the actual golf course until it was closed to golfers (I guess they didn't believe me when I promised not to sue for golf ball related head injuries). So the wedding party had to take photos closer to the actual building. I hadn't found out about this rule until we got close to the wedding, and by then I was a total nutjob and furious that we wouldn't be able to get golf course shots of everyone (I'm not even into golfing. I'm just into being a bitchy nutjob.) Our photographer once again came to the rescue and discovered some amazing photo spots that weren't in close proximity to flying ballz [insert ball joke here].

In case you're not keeping track, my photographer has already made a parking lot and a crowded street fest look good. And if you want to go waaay back in time, she made a packed art museum look empty too.

For example, this was just some boring old hill that she did amazing things with. You'll see even more in the next post.

So. Much. Kissing.

So. Much. Fake. Cheering.

And of course we had to get some sibling shots because we hadn't done this with the family or wedding party pics yet.
Me and my bros.

Mr. Unicycle's bro

More bros.

Old roommates. Sigh. I miss college. Take me back, college! Why can't I quit you??

Then it was time to walk back to the cocktail hour!
You can see what kind of landscape we were actually working with. I have no idea how my photographer made it look so good.

Are you worried about underwhelming photo backdrops?