Mr. Unicycle and I started dating 5 and a half years ago. We decided to get married 5 years ago. I started dreaming about our wedding 4 years ago, and I started planning it 15 moths ago. All of the planning (from napkin rings and candy buffets to dreaming about the future and imagining our first kiss) has finally come to an end. I was always afraid I'd be sad when my wedding planning came to an end, but luckily it concludes with a wedding and the beginning of a marriage, 2 things I'll gladly accept over wedding planning.
our first pic as a couple back in 2007
I'm lying in a hotel room surrounded by my bridesmaids, paper flowers, yellow dresses, and lots of tulle. I only slept about 4 hours last night, and I'm hoping I can get through the day on adrenaline. Remember how I was feeling kind of numb earlier this week? Yeah, that went away. I am full-on nervous as hell right now. I don't know what I'm even nervous about. I don't care if our timeline gets screwed up or if our photobooth backdrop continues to look like garbage. I've been ready to marry Mr. Unicycle for 5 years, and I'm more ready than ever right now.
But last night as I attempted to fall asleep, I had visions of walking down the aisle with all eyes on me, and I went into panic mode. I never expected to feel so sick on my wedding morning. I'd rather be weeping at the friggin poignancy of the event, but alas, instead I'm clutching my stomach in fear.
I know that by the time my mom gets here I'll feel better, and I'll get through the ceremony and just relax at the reception. But right now, all I can think is that I wish I were seeing Mr. Unicycle before my walk down the aisle :(
I mean, come on. He's hot.
But enough of that serious stuff! Here are my wedding day predictions:
- I won't cry walking down the aisle, but I will break out into hives.
- No one will be able to hear me when I say the vows.
- My candy buffet backdrop will probably fall over, but someone will prop it back up.
- I'll end up a 2-shoe bride after all and switch to my beat up Walmart flats at the reception.
- Our first dance will feel really, really long as we do the Jr. High sway, so we'll resort to whispering "poop" into each others' ears to make each other laugh.
- I'll be overwhelmed with all of the love and support I feel today and will probably end up inexplicably bawling tomorrow night while wailing "I'm not even sad!"
- Today I will become a wife to my favorite person in the whole entire world.
Since I'm gettin' hitched and honeymooned in the next few days, who knows when I'll be rollin' back on into the hive, so in my absence, since I know you'll all miss me dearly, here are some gems you may have missed
- Remember the first time I rolled on into the hive?
- Physics class romance: sparks fly across the bunsen burner! Oh wait, that's Chemistry...sparks fly across the...equations!
- Speaking of equations--don't worry, none of our guests have to do math at our reception. But they can if they want to!
- I felt pretty dang ugly when I started planning this shindig. Then I became original Barbie and I'm not so worried anymore.
- Can we all just take a moment to appreciate that colored tights are both in style and widely available?
- I bought my dress on Etsy like a BAMF. Everyone said it was a bad idea, so I did a few "I told ya so's" when it turned out to be friggin awesome.
- I cried at a Fancy Feast commercial and a sexist Folgers commercial.
- Celebrities suck at marriage. Also, Russel Brand has crazay eyez.
- Sometimes proposals aren't all sunshine and rainbows...dun dun dun! AKA Unicycle gets dramatic.
- We time traveled to 1988 to reminisce about poofy sleeves et al.
- I peed in the men's room, among other offenses.
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