Two Unicycles Sittin' in a Tree: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Mr. Unicycle and I rang in the new year at a VFW hall in Minneapolis where my MOH and I did a rousing rendition of Queen's "Somebody to Love."

 

Personal pic

No photographic evidence was taken this time, but here's us doing "Aaron's Party (Come Get It)" circa 2010. I told you this happened!

Not exactly the swankiest of nights, but that's neither here nor there. Mr. U and I smooched at midnight, surrounded my veterans and karaokeing hipsters alike, and the symbolism of the midnight kiss made me think of another symbolic kiss we'd be partaking in during 2012: the "you may kiss the bride" kiss. Or the more modern "you may kiss each other" kiss. But I prefer the former because it means he needs permission and I don't.

I did some extensive research on the topic of wedding kisses, which is to say, I wikied that shiz and read the poorly cited paragraph they provided:

"Some Christians hold the belief that the kiss symbolizes the exchange of souls between the bride and the groom, fulfilling the scripture that 'the two shall become one flesh.' However, some trace the tradition to an ancient Roman tradition, whereby the exchange of a kiss signified the completion of a contract."

Sexy. I don't know what's more romantic, exchanging souls or completing a contract. Either way, I want the kiss to be good. Why?

1. It's our first kiss as husband and wife, and I like sentimental shit like that.
2. A lot of people will be watching us.
3. It will be photographed and videotaped.
4. Since I like sentimental shit, I'm planning on framing a pic of us mid-smooch, or at least sharing it on the internet for you foolz.
5. Bad kisses suck. Or so I've heard ;)

I definitely don't want this to happen to us:

Gif via Gif Soup

Or this:

Personal pic from the olden dayz

Ignore the fact that we look like complete creeps and just focus on how awk my nose looks. How will I keep this from happening on our wedding day?!

I read somewhere that Kate and William had to practice their carefully choreographed first kiss to make sure that onlookers and cameras could actually see their faces. They did a lovely job, though their kiss pretty much sucked otherwise.

 

Gif via Gif Soup

So now I have something else to worry about--what if my face blocks Mr. Unicycle's? Or what if his blocks mine? What if my veil steals the show? What if his arm ruins the photo op? What if we miss?

 

Image via Huffington Post

What if we push out our lips too far?

 

Image via Gossip Center

What if he tries to dip me and I fall down, or worse, break a bone?

 

Image via Project Wedding / Photo by J. Scott Photography

Mrs. Snow Cone did a great post outlining the different styles of wedding kisses, and I think my favorite of her choices was the "c'mere you" face grab style. Ever since I read Joanna's wedding recaps on A Cup of Jo, I've wanted my wedding kiss to look like this:

 

Image via A Cup of Jo / Photo by Max Wanger

Except I think the thing I like best about this style is that it looks unplanned, as if she was just so overcome with emotion that she couldn't help but grab his face. It wouldn't really have the same effect if I practiced it ahead of time, would it? While practicing kissing Mr. Unicycle definitely isn't the worst task on my list of things to do, I'm starting to think it's unnecessary. Practicing would probably ruin the kiss even more than not practicing, right? Or maybe not...

 

Image via College Candy

So what do you think: should we practice our first kiss? Did you/will you practice yours? Or is it better to let it happen organically?