Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Reservations

...and I don't mean dinner reservations. I've already talked a little about my insecurities about my looks. Let's be real here, people. I'm a female living in America, which is to say, I have body issues. I can't go a day without being subliminally reminded that my worth lies in my looks, and I also can't go a day without looking in a mirror and seeing, well, not a supermodel. The fact that I look young is also a constant source of embarrassment for me. Sure, I joke about it all the time. I roll my eyes and shake my head in irritation when someone tells me I look like a 12-year-old, but to be completely honest, it's humiliating. I don't care if you think it's a compliment because it means I'll look young when I'm 50. It's hard enough trying to navigate post-college adulthood and juggling new responsibilities with pressure to still act young and carefree. I don't know how to act around adults because I'm not quite sure if I'm one of them or not. It certainly doesn't help that I look like I belong in junior high. And it certainly doesn't help my self-confidence to be constantly reminded of my childish looks by every bouncer, hair-dresser, and barista I meet. Disclaimer: I'm not fishing for compliments!

Photo source
If only I could look like this woman on my wedding day. Oh wait, foiled by Toddlers and Tiaras yet again.

To add to my hang-ups, I'm also very short, yet not exactly petite, which means most clothing just...doesn't fit me. That's part of the reason I like sewing so much.
Photo taken by Mr. Unicycle. He was testing the lighting.
This is me trying to look cool like all of those fashion bloggers who do cool poses in their outfit posts. On top of all my other qualms, I also just look...stupid. Kidding! Look at dat hottie!

Okay I'll get to the point already--I was not looking forward to shopping for a wedding dress. I'm used to clothes not fitting me right, and I've even accepted that I'm a size large in several popular clothing stores that I patronize. So I figured the sample dresses at wedding dress shops wouldn't even fit me enough for me to have a good idea of what they'd look like on me. Plus, I didn't want a gown consultant or any other customers (or even my own mother, for that matter) seeing me in various states of undress. The whole idea of wedding dress shopping just terrified me--what should I wear? Who should I bring? What if I can't afford anything? What if I don't like anything? And again, what if nothing fits me?

My mom nagged me to pick a day to go dress shopping, and I kept putting it off. Everyone thought I was nuts for not wanting to try on dresses right away. We finally ended up booking a bunch of back-to-back appointments on a Saturday afternoon in July, a good 4 months after the proposal....

Coming up next, you'll see some actual pics of me in wedding dresses!

I know I'm not the only one with wedding dress reservations. Who else dreaded shopping for a dress? What caused your reservations?

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